(Written For and Dedicated to my Mom)

With the possibility
we might not have a chance
to say good-bye
i’d been looking
for a chance to try
some Words somewhere,
some way, somehow
to attempt to express
what Your life
has meant to me

Through all the curves
and ups and downs
and those mountainous
topsy-turvy-turn-arounds
one thing keeps coming
back to me
over and over again

As i remember those
late night prayers
You prayed for me
that worn linoleum
beneath your knees
i’d be in bed
falling off to sleep
as yet
i was still unaware
of how i would make you weep

As the years went by
my stiff-necked ways
made torment
of my occasional sober days
then i’d flop back
into my gutter
while You prayed on
in a language other
than the earthly one
i partly understood

i had never known
anybody worse than me

Now i look back
at how Jesus
set me free
and know that
in this life
there are some things
i’ll surely never understand

As i remember those
late night prayers You prayed for me
that worn linoleum
beneath your knees
i’d be in bed
falling off to sleep
i was learning then
of how i’d make You weep

As the years went by
Your Love never faltered
i nearly died as
years of drugs blurred past
a religious cult
stole even more years
but i escaped at last

i lost a Precious Daughter
my first business
and first marriage
and very nearly lost
what was still
left of my mind
But there were angels
sent to help me on my way
the Grossmans, Grahams and Ballews (*)
all knew how to pray
their prayers locked arms
with my mother’s
and helped to turn my
night to day

i remember those
late night prayers
You prayed for me
that worn linoleum
beneath your knees
i’d be in bed
falling off to sleep
as yet i was still unaware
of how i would make you weep

Now i rest in the freedom
You demanded for me
i realize at last
the Hero i was hungering for
to be the earthly dad
i never had
all along was the
Spirit of God

in You

Curtis D. Rose

1996